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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Britney Spears joined Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton as the latest celebrity to flaunt her sloppy vag in front of paparazzi yesterday in what was obviously a premeditated event. What she should have done was strap on some kind of prosthetic penis and dangle that out the bottom of her skirt. Let the paparazzi snap a few pics of that, cause a real stir.
Click to see Britney's vagina.
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Al Pacino is a big big star. As of today he's appeared in more than 45 films. Granted he’s only played 3 characters but he’s been fantastic as each one. Problem is, not everybody can afford a big star like Pacino. So sometimes they get Andy Garcia, the poor man’s Al Pacino. Thing is, a poor man’s Al Pacino is still pretty expensive so sometimes they have to get Anthony LaPaglia, the poor man’s Andy Garcia. Even his price is a little high for some so they go and get Ron Silver, the poor man’s Anthony LaPaglia a.k.a. the poor poor poor man’s Al Pacino.
The Al Pacino Succession.
Al Pacino
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Monday, November 20, 2006
Once upon a Thursday, many years ago, after they landed on Plymouth Rock, but before they started burning witches, the Pilgrims sat down with the Indians and begat a tradition. They called it Thanksgiving because they thanked the Indians for their food and gave them smallpox.
Thanksgiving is the most underrated holiday of all mantimes. Why? Because unless you’re selling turkeys or cranberries, Thanksgiving isn’t making you any cash. And since very few people can profit from it, it gets overlooked. There are no costumes to buy, cards to mail, flowers to send, or presents to give. There is only turkey.
In a consumer driven society filled with green beer, candy hearts, President’s day sales, and bunnies that have nothing to do with resurrections, Thanksgiving stands alone as an untouchable, mascot free
Besides that, it'is the most unabashedly American day of the year. It's as complex and dynamic as our history and culture. It is a time for being grateful, a tradition of the best intentions, yet simultaneously a reminder of a past marred with unforgivable grievances.
Don’t fuck with Thanksgiving.
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
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Monday, November 06, 2006
If you've ever been in a bar fight and didn't put your drink down, you may want to think about taking a little break from drinking.
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Who up and decided pants should have a complete and total monopoly on bottomwear? I'm tired of pants. There are all types of underwear: boxers, briefs, boxerbriefs, thongs. Yet there is only pants. Pants suck, they squeeze your balls too much. Imagine if other products squeezed your balls as much as pants do. What if your new tv squeezed your balls every time you tried to watch it? Or what if that garage door opener you just installed gave your balls a squeeze every time you parked your car? I doubt you'd put up with it for very long. Yet here you sit, reading this very sentence, while a pair of no good pants has your balls in a vice. Fuck pants.
